Friday, 11 July 2008
Yesterday was a landmark day. I was sat on the floor, things lapping at the piss puddles in my thigh caves, when I understood life. It dawned on me that the meaning I had been searching had always been present. I was life. And it was like that moment in Short Circuit 2 when Lieutenant Harris from Police Academy rode in on a tank. Everything made sense. I said to myself, ‘Chuckles, you are the very epitome of life on earth. It shall be your duty herein to make our planet a place of scents for all.’ And so, I shall now spray you with my musk, my very bud.